


She was never here

by RaindropsandRoses10_6



Series: She was never here [1]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaindropsandRoses10_6/pseuds/RaindropsandRoses10_6
Summary: “She wasn’t here! She was never fucking here! She left!” Billy screamed at the top of his lungs.“I was nine! I was nine and taking care of you! I had to work my fucking ass off so we wouldn’t lose the house. I had to learn to cook and clean all by myself, no thanks to her!”“Enough.” Neil cried silently as he sat on the bed.“And never any help from you because you were too fucking loaded.”





	She was never here

**Author's Note:**

> Hello beautiful people, after months of doing nothing I finally started writing again. This is inspired by a scene from the show Shameless (U.S.)
> 
> I watched this scene and it just screamed Billy and Neil so I had to write it. Also, this is inspired by Shameless but certain moments I wrote based off of my own personal experiences with my parents, how I felt during those moments and how I handled them. It was hard for me to write. So, sorry if the scenes are weird, I am trying my best. 
> 
> Amazing Editor and beautiful mermaid: @crzyhead-rock-el on Tumblr. Thank you so much for your help! 
> 
> Also, check out my Tumblr: Monster-Lady-GayGay 
> 
> Thank you!

When Billy was a kid, he always thought his parents were normal. He never had any friends because of his background so he never questioned it. Until he got older and realized it wasn't normal. But who could he talk too? Adults never took him seriously. His mother, being a junkie, and his father, being an alcoholic, they thought he was just as bad as them. They treated him like a criminal so why not act like one? He grew sick and tired of trying to be a good kid when no one cares about him. His dad was gonna hate him no matter what, so he might as well have fun. Billy stopped helping out at the library and tutoring kids and started smoking pot in the bathroom and skipping school.

When Billy turned 9, he woke up to see his mother was gone. His dad was still passed out drunk on the couch. He found a note on the fridge saying she wasn't coming back and that she was sorry. She wasn't like most mothers, Billy's known that for a long time. She had too many emotions for her body, his father said, but that's why Neil loved her. Not her fault, Billy tried to explain to himself, because she didn't know how. He tried to convince himself that she does love him so she will come back. She usually does. 

Billy broke himself out of his thoughts and he started to make himself breakfast. He saw the calendar and realized the light bill was due, so he wanted to get the money out to give to his dad to pay it off because he didn't know how. He opened the cabinet under the sink where they kept the money when he saw all of it was gone. Five-thousand dollars disappeared. He knew what happened and he knew they were screwed. That was the year Billy had to find a way to make money because his father was too depressed and drunk to work. 

 

Billy was in history class when the principal called him into his office.

'Shit,' he thought. 

He packed his stuff and ignored everyone watching him leave. He walked to the principle's office but was stopped by the assistant. She explained to him that his stepmother called and wanted him to come home. Confused, he nodded his head and checked out. He went to his car to find Max waiting for him.

“Susan called you too?” He asked.

She nodded her head and got into his car. Billy was silent on the way which Max appreciated but his mind wouldn't shut up.

(He's gonna kill you.)

'I didn't do anything.'

(That's never stopped him before.)

'Max is here, he won't hurt me in front of her. I'm safe.'

(What if it's her he wants to hurt.)

'No, he wouldn't.'

He shook his head and took deep breaths. Max looked at him, puzzled. A wave of nausea hit him hard and he felt like he needed to pull over. Max noticed but didn't say a word.

They pulled into the driveway to see Susan outside waiting for them. She was quiet and gave him a hug. Billy doesn't hug, so he didn't hug back. His fear grew more as they walked in the house. He didn't see his father but he heard him in the bedroom talking. Susan told Max to go to her room for a little bit. She looked at her mother and then stared at Billy. She sighed and walked into her room, shutting the door. Susan lead him to the kitchen table and sat next to him. Billy eyed her as she grabbed his hand gently and spoke,

“Billy, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your father and I got a call earlier today, it was your Aunt. I'm sorry but your mother past away.”

Billy froze and stared down at the table. He wasn't sad nor was he happy. He was just relieved that it was all over. He felt a weight lifted off his chest. Like a war was finally over. Susan stared at him waiting for a reply but he just continued to stare at the table. He glanced at her and nodded. He got a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lit one. Susan was against smoking but didn't stop him this time. The bedroom door opened and Neil walked out. Billy watched as Neil made his way to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water.

“That was your Aunt Pam. She said the funeral is in a few days in California.” Neil spoke looking at his son.

Billy nodded and sucked on his cigarettes to calm himself. Neil sat down next to Susan and held her hand.

“Sweetheart, you don't have to go if you don't want too. I understand.” Neil said sweetly.

Billy resisted the urge to roll his eyes and just looked away. Susan explained to him that it was no trouble and she wanted to support him and so did Maxine. Billy knew Max wouldn't want to go but it seems like she didn't have much of a choice in the matter and neither did he. He despised that woman so he didn't care what happened to her. Of course, Neil didn't care what Billy wanted so he was going to go no matter how much he hated that woman. Neil took another sip of his water when Susan spoke again,

“What are we gonna wear?”

“I can give you some money so you, Billy and Maxine can go get some nice clothes.”

Neil kissed her on the forehead and gave her money. Susan told him to go get Max so they could go get clothes. Billy grabbed Max and they went to the car. Susan explained to Max what was happening on the way.

They returned home a couple of hours later before the Sun went down. Susan bought some groceries for dinner that night. Billy was quiet during the trip but he could feel Max staring at him. She was nice to him during the trip so he was nice to her. He knew she was doing it out of pity, but he didn't really care. When they got home, he helped Max with the bags and opened the front door for them. Just like before, Neil was in his bedroom, so Susan went to the bedroom to talk to him. Max and Billy went to their rooms to hang up their clothes for the funeral. Billy heard the master bedroom door open and close and Susan's footsteps walk into the kitchen to start dinner.

Billy laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. When dinner started, Neil didn't come out of the bedroom. Billy hardly ate anything while the three of them sat in silence. When dinner ended, Billy and Max helped Susan clean up. She grabbed a plate of food and brought it to the bedroom. Max and Billy rushed into their rooms for the night.

Billy was beginning to change his clothes when he heard a scream and something hit the floor. He ran to his door and swung it open. He ran to the master bedroom, Max was right behind him, without him noticing. He opened the door and found Susan on the floor. Max ran passed him and comforted her mother. Billy stared at them and crouched down next to them with his eyes on Neil. 

“Max, take Susan to your room and lock the door,” Billy said quietly. 

Max nodded and helped Susan up who kept insisting she was fine.  
Billy shut the door behind him and took a long look at Neil. He could tell by the smell and the way he was standing that he wasn’t that drunk. It was the first time Neil even drank since he met Susan. 

“What the fuck was that?” Billy shouted.

Neil shook his head and ignored him so, Billy asked again.

“What the fuck is actually wrong with you?” 

“You weren’t there! You didn’t hear the things she said about your mother!” Neil shouted back. 

“She was crazy, dad! She left! Why the hell did you hit Susan?” Billy never spoke this way to his father, but he has had enough. 

Something about him actually hurting Susan and getting back into his old habits sent him over the edge. 

“Don’t speak to me that way, boy! You didn’t understand her!” 

“She abandoned us!” 

“She loved us!” 

“She loved us?” Billy asked in disbelief. 

“Yes! She just didn’t know how to express it. You were a selfish, worthless little brat then just like you are now,” Neil trailed on with his hurtful words but, Billy screamed over him.

“She wasn’t here! She was never fucking here! She left!” Billy screamed at the top of his lungs. 

“I was nine! I was nine and taking care of you! I had to work my fucking ass off so we wouldn’t lose the house. I had to learn to cook and clean all by myself, no thanks to her!” 

“Enough.” Neil cried silently and sat on the bed. 

“And never any help from you because you were too fucking loaded.” 

Billy stepped closer to him and looked at him in the eyes. He saw, for the first time, Neil crying. Billy did have tears in his eyes but never shed any because he decided his mother and father weren’t worth it. 

“She didn’t love you,” Billy spoke quietly. Neil begged him to stop talking.  
“She didn’t love me. She only cared about herself.” 

Billy stood back up and looked at the defeated man he once feared. He started making his way to the door when he stopped. 

“I’m done. I’m done with you. I’m done with her. I’m done.”

Billy turned back around and walked out, he shut the door behind him and made his way to Max’s room. He peaked in to check on Susan and saw the big red mark on her cheek. 

“If I were you, I would leave,” Billy said before shutting the door. 

Billy walked out of the house and got into his car. He didn’t really know where he was going, but his instinct told him where to go. So, he just backed out of the driver and drove. 

Billy pulled into the driveway of the big house and saw only a truck was in the driveway. He turned off the engine and stared at the house. He took deep breaths and walked up to the door. He knocked on the door and stood back, waiting for the door to open. 

Steve missed Billy. He left school early that day and hadn’t come by. It was rather lonely without him. His parents have been gone for a few days and Billy snuck out every night since to be with him. Worried, Steve tried to take his mind off of it by doing his homework. He was working harder at it now that he realized Dustin looked up too him. He wanted to be a good influence, so he took his school seriously, got a job and was trying to be a responsible adult. 

Steve realized how late it was and decided to take a break. He went to the living room to watch some TV. An hour later, he heard a knock at the door. 

‘It’s almost midnight. Who the hell is that?’ Steve thought. 

He answered the door and Billy Hargrove was standing at the door, staring at the ground with watery eyes. They stood there silently and awkwardly for a few minutes before Billy finally spoke. 

“I umm I don’t know why I’m here.” 

“I never asked.”

Billy had always been complicated to understand. No matter how many teachers or police officers tried, they could never figure him out. The only one who could was Steve. They realized after first opening up to each other months ago, they are both on the same spectrum but different ends of it. Steve’s parents never cared about him but, Billy’s dad cared too much. 

Steve moved out of the way so Billy could enter the empty house. Billy walked past him and took off his jacket, slowly. Steve took it and hung it up in the closet. Billy watched him as he did it. Their eyes met and Billy said, 

“I don’t want to do anything tonight.” 

Steve nodded and smiled softly. 

“I never said you had too.” 

Billy nodded and looked around. 

“You wanna talk?” 

Billy shook his head and noticed the TV was on. Steve grabbed his hand and lead him to the couch. They sat down together and Steve put his arm around Billy and Billy laid his head on his shoulder. Steve kissed his temple and rubbed his forearm, lightly. When he was with Steve, it was like his own little paradise. He could forget his parents for just a short amount of time. Moments like this were the reason he could keep on living. And he will. For Steve.


End file.
